Christian 'spare the rod, spoil the child' evangelist now out with a new marriage advice book for men

Debbie and Michael Pearl
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Debbie and Michael Pearl

The Pearls explain biblical discipline to CNN

Michael and Debi Pearl received national attention when CNN interviewed them in August 2011 about their views that spanking children is "a divine gift."  Penning numerous books as part of their "No Greater Joy" ministries in rural Tennessee, the fundamentalist Christian couple were at the heart of a controversy in light of a case involving Kevin and Elizabeth Schatz of Paradise, California, jailed for spanking their two adoptive daughters so severely that one died.  The surviving adopted child, as well as their biological children who were also victims of severe punishment, are in foster care.  At that time, District Attorney Michael Ramsey said there is no doubt in his mind that the Pearls' advice influenced the Schatzes and that they share some responsibility for the abuses and death.  A copy of their book, To Train Up a Child, was found in the Schatz home, marked and underscored.    His office decided not to prosecute the Pearls because they had a "First Amendment right to say awful things."

Lauding the fact that they were on CNN and other news outlets, No Greater Joy Ministries issued a press release touting Michael Pearl's latest book, Created To Need A Help Meet - A Marriage Guide for Men. According to the press release,

Created To Be a Help Meet by Debi Pearl had a focus on the women's role in marriage. The focus on women created a growing demand for a similar marriage book for men. Michael's response to the demand is the much anticipated Created To Need A Help Meet: A Marriage Guide For Men. In his direct, no-nonsense style, Michael gets real with men, giving them insight into themselves and helping them to better understand what they can positively contribute to their marriage. Topics include the anticipation of marriage, the different personality types, and the harm that anger and pornography cause within a marriage.

Just as he has brought much needed attention to child training, Michael is prepared to bring attention to the man's role in creating a successful marriage. The marriage revolution that Debi started among women, Michael is ready to start among men.

Debi's book has been reviewed extensively on No Longer Quivering, a site dedicated to the dangers of the so-called "Quiverfull Movement," a sect of fundamentalist biblical Christianity that advocates that couples have as many children as possible and avoid birth control. No Longer Quivering extracted some quotes from Created To Be a Help Meet, including (but not limited to) –

  • A wise woman gauges her husband’s needs. She seeks to fulfill his desires before even he is aware of them. She never leaves him daydreaming outside the home. She supplies his every desire.
  • A wise woman does not dream of what “could have been.” She sees clearly that she is not God’s gift to men; thus she is blessed in her present circumstances. She learns to be content.
  • A wise woman understands that her husband’s need to be honored is not based on his performance but on his position. She learns quickly to defer with enthusiasm to his ideas or plans. She looks for ways to reverence him. She knows this is God’s will for her life.

D. Beeksma

One of the growing crowd of American "nones" herself, Deborah is a prolific writer who finds religion, spirituality and the impact of belief (and non-belief) on culture inspiring, fascinating and at times, disturbing. She hosts the God Discussion show and handles the site's technical work. Her education and background is in business, ecommerce and law.

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  • sheldon

    You see what the bible has done for Mrs Pearl… what she thinks of herself.

    Then, they also believe beating a child is the right thing to do… as opposed to, let's say, oh, I don't know, talking maybe. I never beat my sons and they are well respected by their peers and I am proud of them. I am quite proud that I was directly responsible for instilling the values of personal responsibility, equality and integrity into their lives… all without raising a hand in anger or frustration or privilege or obligation.

    I used to say to my sons, "People do not behave like that, only animals behave that way… are you an animal?". I did not, even for a moment, think that this short-term, after-birth inability to verbalize their thoughts was synonymous with an inability to understand me. I could see in their eyes that they knew what I was talking about.

    If I may…

    I will preface the little story below by letting you know that my wife is a Christian… and an open-minded one.

    One day, in our home, my wife walked upstairs and began a conversation with our youngest son… he was a teenager at the time and going through all the typical teenage junk. It reached the point where he began crying and said to her, "Mom, I hate you… I don't know why and I really have no reason to, but I do". At that moment, she touched his arm and said, "That's okay… you don't need to know why, you only need to know that I love you". I noticed a change in him very shortly afterwards. He became, for lack of a better description, more mature… almost overnight.

    Now, you could say it was her faith, her Christianity that enabled her to respond the way she did and perhaps, you would be right. Then again, perhaps it was her lack of adherence to the bible that enabled her response to our son. The Bible says you can kill your child if he strikes you. You can stone the unruly ones… the ones that "lip" back. There are also rules about selling your daughters and buying and beating your slaves… so, what's in the bible really doesn't matter much. The interpretations are constantly changing in order to be consistent with the values one already holds dear.

    Hitting a child is wrong and as a non-religious person, I find it most telling that the Pearls clearly believe that violence should begin at home and that it's okay to hit a child. Love through fear… pathetic. Shameful and pathetic.

    I can only imagine how disgusting this next book for men will be.

  • http://www.goddiscussion.com admin

    Thanks so much for sharing your positive story, Sheldon. It sounds like your wife has a good understanding of psychology — but psychology is considered evil by a lot of the fundamentalist religious groups.

    Deborah

  • sheldon

    You are most welcome Deborah. You are correct about my wife. You are also correct about the fundies. It seems anything reasonable is taboo when it conflicts with their religious beliefs so I decided to make it personal.

    Upon consideration, it seems my story touches on something I was discussing a while ago… that the argument for religion as a basis for morality is not compelling. I was born into catholicism. As an escaped catholic, I vowed I would never treat my children as I was treated by my catholic parents.

    As a catholic child of catholic parents, here is what I learned:

    Psychological, physical and emotional abuse and neglect…
    From that came isolation and loneliness…
    Which led to want and desire…
    From which was birthed addiction and greed.

    Where in that, can anyone see the value of religion?

  • http://www.theresurrection.ca Ariel

    Christ’s take; Stop ministering lies about my Father’s Word!

    In the previous letter I mentioned that the church I attended back in 1997 received a visitation from God, and that during that visitation I witnessed the Crucifixion Isaiah saw in his day. Several times over a three month period beginning late February 1997, a prophecy was spoken unto the church. It came forth out of the wife of one of the board members of the church. The prophetic message said, ‘Pray for John, I am going to raise him up’. Outside the church, numerous prophecies were spoken unto me by the same lady; those prophecies testified of a new House that Christ said He was going to build, they testified of God’s anger towards the pastors, preachers, and teachers who minister His Word, they testified of seven sins that God saw in the hearts of those who minister His Word; greed, pride, control, unbelief, indecision, deception and jealously, and they testified that God called many but when they attained money and power through God they forsook God. When I began receiving those prophetic messages that I believed in my spirit were of God through His Son, the word of the Lord came unto me saying, ‘View each message being spoken unto you as a piece of a puzzle. Don’t seek for understanding in them at this time because I have not yet given you the knowledge of that which I have spoken unto you’. The last prophecy spoke unto me was this ‘I will no longer speak unto you through prophecy; I have given you all the pieces of the puzzle that I needed to give you. I have revealed unto you my Father’s plan; it’s time for you to seek my face to hear what my Spirit is saying in my Father’s Word’.

    When the prophecy came forth to pray for John that God was going to raise him up, the pastor and congregation began praying for a man in the congregation who was ill at the time; this man was injured in a car accident many years earlier that left him paralyzed from the waist down. Based upon that prophecy, the pastor and congregation believed that this man was going to receive a divine healing and walk. While I would like to have seen a miracle like this appears, there was a conflict in my spirit about this prophecy. I believed in my spirit that the prophecy was of God, but didn’t believe in my heart that John was going to walk. The contradiction between what I felt in my spirit and what I believed in my heart left me believing that the church’s prayers unto God to raise John out of his wheelchair were vain. On the way home from church that Sunday evening, after partaking in the prayer for John that I didn’t believe God was going to answer, I told God that I felt the situation that took place in church that evening was silly. Early the following morning I received a phone call telling me that my stepson had been taken to the hospital; that he woke up in the middle of the night paralyzed down one half of his body. That was an awakening moment for me! Before going to the hospital I sought God to heal my stepson. The response I got back was this ‘the lad is in no pain. I took him down because you are not taking seriously that which I have spoken unto you. When you take seriously that which I have spoken unto thee I will bring the lad up’. Six weeks later my stepson walked out of the hospital and to this very day there is no evidence of Multiple Sclerosis which is what the hospital speculated may have happened.
    The lady who prophesied in the church, and unto me, joined the church two years prior to God’s visitation. I began attending that church in 1991. When she joined the church God set it upon my spirit that He was going to reveal something unto me through her that would give me understanding in His purpose for the revelation He had given me in His Son between 1964 and 1971. I was a prisoner of the Cross for nearly twenty-seven years in the sense that the doctrines of the church I attended between 1964 and 1971 did not bear witness of the revelation I received from God in His Son during those years. Neither did the doctrines I received between 1991 and 1997 bear witness of Christ. I sought God many times to reveal unto me His purpose for the revelation He had given me in His Son because I couldn’t understand why the doctrines of the church did not bear the knowledge He had given me in His Son. God answered my supplication during His visitation. The Crucifixion I witnessed of God’s Spirit opened my understanding in the sins my pastor committed against God, and through that knowledge God delivered me from the bondage brought upon me between 1964 and 1971 through religious doctrines that did not bear witness to what God had revealed unto me during those years.

    In May of 1997 I left the church and gave my heart unto seeking God for understanding in all the prophecies that I had heard and all the things I witnessed in the church during His visitation. A couple of weeks before I left, the word of the Lord came unto me saying, ‘When John goes up the pastor will go down’. My pastor’s lack of understanding in God’s Spirit was exposed in several closed door meeting between himself, the board members of the church, the lady through whom the Lord spoke, and me. Several of the prophecies spoken unto me were delivered unto the pastor through the mouth of the husband of the lady through whom the Lord spoke unto me through prophecy. The pastor mocked Christ through Sermons he preached on the premise of the prophecies spoken unto me. When he preached his understanding of the prophecies that testified Christ was going to build a new House he deceived the congregation by claiming that God had told him to build a new church. Several members of the church gave financial support for that project; one of the board members gave his entire saving which was never returned when the church was not built. The church was never built. When the Lord sent me before the pastor in a closed door meetings to ask him why he deceived the congregation he became extremely angry with me. That was not the only time the Lord sent me before the pastor, He took me before him a total of nine times; his anger towards me multiplied exceedingly.

    A couple of days prior to hearing the prophecy that testified God saw seven sins in the heart of the priesthood, God had given me a vision of a heart that had seven things that looked like spikes sticking out of it. Two on the top on the right side of arch, two on the top of the left side of the arch, one on either side, and one out the bottom. When I heard the prophecy, I understood what I had seen. The day after the prophecy was spoken unto me, the husband of the lady through whom the prophecy was spoken ran into the pastor at the post office. When he got home he told his wife that the pastor had told him God had shown him that he had seven sins in his heart. There was no mistake that God’s Spirit was moving in the church; He spoke to several members of the church through signs, wonders, dreams and visions. The problem was the shepherd leading the flock did not know God’s Spirit therefore his theologies were based upon his own understanding which ultimately created a circus in the church. When he saw the problem he had created he didn’t know how to handle it, so he called in the head of the Pentecostal Assemblies of Canada to clean up his mess. Two of the board who believed it was God’s Spirit moving in the church along with the pastor, met with the head of the POAC who dismissed the matter; fired the board members and left the pastor to continue in the church to this day.

    God’s request unto the pastor and the congregation to seek Him in prayer to raise up John has been a fervent prayer of mine for seventeen years. The Book of Revelation is addressed unto the leaders of the churches. The revelations recorded in the book were given unto John by God through Christ who spoke unto the churches in the first three chapters of the book calling them to repent of their sins. The knowledge revealing what God’s Spirit is saying in the Book of Revelation bears the Testimony of Christ that God gave unto me between 1964 and 1971, and the revelation of the prophecies that His Son spoke unto me in 1997 was the foundation God laid upon which He opened my understanding in His Word.
    Today we are living in an era of self-fulfilled prophesies of the Book of Revelation. We are in a terrible mess! Everyone needs to pray to God to raise up John because when Christ fulfills on earth the testimony written in the Book of Revelation He will deliver God’s people out of the hard bondage brought upon them by wrongful translations of the book brought forth by those who claim to be God’s servants.

    Revelations 20:12. And I saw the dead small and great, stand before God; and the books were opened: and another book was opened, which is called the book of life: and the dead were judged out of things which were written in the books, according to their works.

    The dead small and great testify of the patriarchs, the major and minor Prophets, the disciples and Paul. The books they wrote are going to be opened which means God is going to bringing forth the knowledge of books called His Word. For the time is come that judgement must begin at the house of God: and if it first begin at us, what shall the end be of them that obey not the gospel of God? And IF THE RIGHTEOUS SCARCELY BE SAVED, WHERE SHALL THE UNGODLY AND THE SINNER APPEAR?, 1 Peter 4:17 and 18.

    The churches theology that God keeps a set a books of all our deeds on earth and then judges us when are dead is absolutely insane. God’s House is a Divine House made without hands and is manifested through the truth the His Word revealed unto man through God’s Spirit by way of Christ Jesus. The scriptures testify that judgement begins at the House of the Lord. Peter understood the House of God dwelt within him through the knowledge he received from God through Christ by way of God’s Spirit, and that God was going to judge his works according to the knowledge He gave him through His Son. The Book of Life is Christ; his truths of His Father’s Word will reveal the books written by the prophets, the disciples and Paul. If the righteous who wrote the books are going to be judged when He returns what will be the judgement upon those who brought forth a false testimony of the books?

    Genesis 1:8 and 9 testifies that God parted the waters which were under the firmament from the waters which were above the firmament, and that God called the dry land earth, and the gathering together of the waters called he Seas. God called the firmament Heaven. God is a Spirit revealed by His Word which is the waters above the firmament. The waters below the firmament testifies of the gods of man’s imagery. God parted the waters above the firmament from the waters below the firmament by revealing unto man the bondage caused by the foolishness of their imagery. Through delivering man out of their state of darkness (bondage) God revealed himself unto man and he called that union of the two waters Seas. The dry land he called earth testifies of man’s carnal state.

    In Revelation 20:13 the scripture testify the Sea gave up the dead. The Sea is God’s Word; the dead speaks of ministers who have no understanding in God’s Word. The truth of God’s Word gives up the dead through revealing those who minister His Word have no understanding in His Word. Death and hell delivered up the dead which were in them. And death and hell were cast into the lake of fire. Job 38:12 to 17: Hast thou commanded the morning since thy days; and caused the dayspring to know his place. That it might take hold of the ends of the earth, that the wicked might be shaken out of it? It is turned as clay to the seal; and they stand as a garment. And from the wicked their light is withholden, and the high arm shall be broken. Hast thou entered into the springs of the sea? Or hast thou walked in search of the depth? Have the gates of death been opened unto thee? Or hast thou seen the doors of the shadow of death? There is a way that seemeth right unto a man; but the end thereof are the ways of death, Proverbs 16:25. For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace, Romans 8:6. In these scriptures death speaks of a man’s spiritual state. Hell isn’t a fire beneath the earth. We are living in it through man being partakers of self-fulfilled prophecies. Look at what the churches theology of God’s Word has brought in the world, especially throughout the Middle East. The scriptures testify the dead are going to be cast into the lake of fire, testifying God is going to cause the dead to reap what they have sown. In Matthew 16:16 Christ said He would build His church and the gates of hell would not prevail against it. His church is the Spiritual House of God that dwelt within the patriarchs, the prophets, the disciples and Paul through the knowledge they received from God by way of His Spirit; and that knowledge bore the Testimony of His Son who is the True and Living Temple of God.
    There will be many, both inside and outside the church who will perceive this letter as an attack upon the church. Be not ye one of them. Think ye not that God knew the day He called man to be ministers unto Him that man who defiled His House? Yea, He spoke of it often in His Word. What saith the scriptures, many were called, few were chosen. Be ye not judges lest ye be judged; God is Judge over both the righteous and the unrighteous. In these latter days praise God for the truth of His Word; Seek ye Christ, and work out your salvation with fear and trembling for none shall escape God’s judgement not even the atheist, the scriptures testify every knee shall bow before God.

    Being a minister unto God means seeking Him for understanding in His Word, and bringing that knowledge forth. I have made many sacrifices in my life unto God and have suffered many trials and tribulation in search of the wealth of God’s Kingdom which is the knowledge God gave me by way of His Son through His Spirit. When a man giveth his heart unto God he receiveth great wealth, the man’s desire is that God giveth unto His people that which has been given unto him for he knoweth that the richness of God is His Son, who giveth unto man the peace of God through which man prospers in the earth. The wealth that God has freely given unto me is freely being given unto you on the website God commanded me to build. I have never used God’s Word to financially prosper off of nor will that day come. The free will offering on the site is there because God instructed me to put it there and I will surely take the offerings of God’s people before God and do that which God’s commands of me. Your decision of whether or not to make that offering is between you and God. Your decision will not prevent you from freely receiving that which has been freely given unto me. Foreknowing that many will steal God’s Word from the website and try to financially prosper off His Word I ask that ye be watchful and not be taken by deceivers. Know this; there will be no marketing of God’s Word made by me in any form. I am not a merchant; I am a servant.

    A few months after I received God’s call, which was in February 1997, a violent storm with high winds and heavy rainfall struck the community where I live. When I looked out my window I was surprised at what I saw. Garbage cans and several other items people keep outside their homes were being tossed around by the winds as though they were feathers. While thinking about what I was seeing, which was something unusual for my area, the Word of the Lord came unto me, saying, I am changing the weather. How does one relate to that? Quite simply I couldn’t. A few days later another storm arose. When I looked out my window I saw three small tornadoes coming from the east. They touched down before reaching the little village where I lived causing minor damage. Later that evening the Word of the Lord came unto me, saying, What meaneth these three tornadoes? I was shocked, then replied, Lord I don’t know, how could I. These three tornadoes saith the Lord, represent the Father, the Son and the Word, and when they make landfall there will be great destruction in the earth, but fear not that day, for that day must need come. From that day to this the weather has drastically changed; tornadoes bearing strong winds, heavy rainfall and hail are common occurrences of our times. And the temple of God was opened in heaven, and there was seen in his temple the ark of his testament: and there were lightings, and voices, and thunderings, and an earthquake, and great hail, Revelation 11:19.

    Shortly after God’s call, God set it upon my heart to pay attention to the President of the United States. When President George Bush Junior was elected President of the United Sates I wept. I felt in my spirit that he was going to do something that would wreak havoc in the earth, what I knew not. When he commanded a military strike on Iraq I felt in my heart that his decision was based upon his religious beliefs which he has recently acknowledged through saying he was on a mission from God when he launched the invasion of Afghanistan and Iraq. When he took that stand he did not open the door for peace; he closed it, and today we have a Muslim religious regime who believes it is their duty unto God to fulfill the philosophies of a book written by a man who was as misguided in his religious beliefs as was/is President George Bush junior. Today, there are four candidates in the race to become the next President of the United States. Whoever sits in that seat in November will experience the strong hand of God. I believe that President Barrack Obama is the most likely of all the candidates to seek after the truth and righteousness of God.

    Ariel
    Web-site address: http://www.theresurrection.ca
    E-mail address: info@theresrrection.ca

  • http://www.scribd.com/bluaquarius John

    I was raised Catholic and participated in Charismatic Covenant Community in the 70s and 80s up till my resignation in 1990. The sort of fundamentalist, rigid rules reguarding the roles of men and women, husbands and wives were a part of our "formation" under the Sword of the Spirit, a non-denominational network of covenant communities.

    I had three sons with my spouse of that time, and even though we later divorced, our children have grown into fine young men and law abiding citizens of this country. When I left our covenant community, one of our catholic priest-leaders told me personally that I could never form my sons into good Catholic men by myself.

    I can say with much gratitude that he was right: one of them claim to be Catholic, and none of them will ever be like that priest.

    It is a pleasure to find this site this morning.

    John from Grand Island, NE

  • http://www.scribd.com/bluaquarius John

    Oops! I meant NONE of them claim to be catholic!

  • http://www.nopaddle.com Jeff Charles

    For people who consider spanking children and teens a "gift" with "no greater joy" you can only wonder. The only problem for them would be if they gave a crap what the actual New Testament had to say, which they clearly do not. There is not one word instructing anyone in the New Testament to hit anyone else of any age, for any reason. I call these types "Old Testawhackalists.""

    Jeff Charles, http://www.nopaddle.com

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Julie-Ann-Worley/742610771 Julie Ann Worley

    2/3 of Tennessee schoolchildren K-12 attend schools in "Paddling Schools". Did you know that Tennessee State Law does NOT require parental consent or notification for children to be hit with thick wooden paddles by school teachers, coaches and administrators in schools?  Newschannel 5 reported the following on March 9, 2012:
      CROSSVILLE, Tenn. – A legendary local football coach is in trouble, accused of going too far with corporal punishment on a student.A grand jury indicted Vaughn Davis on charges of simple assault.  This after the mother of a 14-year-old special needs student complained to the district attorney."Mr. Davis took him outside and had him bend over a rock and paddled him three times," said the child's mother, who NewsChannel 5 did not identify to protect the identity of the child.She said her son is recovering from a traumatic brain injury from an ATV crash and any further trauma like padding to his head or spine could have killed him.  The boy was on the school's "No Paddle" list, but the mother said it still happened." 
    School Corporal Punishment Protest will be held at TN State Capitol in Nashville Thursday, April 5, 2012 10:00 a.m. – 3:00 p.m. to Demand Governor Haslam and TN lawmakers Abolish Pain to Punish Tennessee students, already Illegal in Nashville Schools and Schools in 31 U.S. States.
     
    Search "A Violent Education" for disturbing facts including graphic descriptions of injuries, "Teacher Immunity Laws" and No legal redress for families of injured students, even the U.S. Supreme Court declines to hear school corporal punishment appeals!   Support Federal Bill H.R. 3027 "The Ending Corporal Punishment in Schools Act" at donthitstudents dot com

    • Deborah_B

       This is news to me — Thanks for the heads up, Julie.  We'll research this one.

      Deborah