Good News! Hitchens has Risen!
On December 21, 2011 At 1:34 pm
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Twitter is buzzing with the good news of Hitchens' resurrection after dying three days prior. After all, if God sent him to hell because He loves him, then it only makes sense that Hitchens resurrected after three days.
Not only that, Staks claims that the evidence is clear.
How can a Christian really prove that Hitchens didn't rise from the dead as so many people claim that he has and that they have seen him?
You do not believe Hitchens died and then came back to life after three days?
Staks says this about disbelief:
It actually takes more faith not to believe that Hitchens has risen on the third day than it does to believe that he has. One would have to claim to know everything in the entire universe in order to reject the belief that Hitchens has risen. How arrogant! These people must hate Hitchens and are just angry people. One must at least be willing to admit that it is possible that Hitchens did rise on the third day and that he is the world's true savior. Kneel before the Hitch!
Now Hitchens supposedly sits on the right side of Darwin. It is true! I know it is true because people on Twitter saw and are spreading the Good News about it.
Will miracles never cease? God must really think Hitchens is special to send him to hell and then bring him back on the third day. All glory to Hitchens!
Oh, wait! I think I see him! Mr. Hitchens! Can I get your autograph and ask you a few questions? How do you feel after dying three days ago, buried, and then resurrected? Hitchens says he feels so much better, but he has a damn wound in his body. I asked him if I could touch it. He told me I had little faith, but granted me permission to touch it. That was a weird experience. After that, he affirmed there is no such place as hell, then left me some whiskey and smokes, and then disappeared again.
Now, I wonder when he is going to ascend up into the sky? Until he does, Hitchens is making various appearances to atheists all over the world. If you catch a glimpse of him, you are one lucky atheist. Just do not forget to Tweet about it and spread the Good News that Hitchens is Great!