I never studied a foreign language in school, but my kids did. My son took two years of French in high school and my daughter two years of Spanish. When they both chose not to sign up for a third year I wondered why. Then I reflected back on every new thing I’d learned and how in the beginning when we still have what my husband Steve calls “beginner’s mind” learning is easy. But the deeper you get into a subject, the more difficult it becomes.
In trying to figure out why we humans so often quit when the going gets tough – I wondered if perhaps some minds are only capable of storing a certain amount of information. But I no longer wonder that. I now believe that it’s easier for new information to find the right passage-ways in the brain if it's similar information to something we already know. Then the new information can follow frequently used neural pathways which makes learning easier. For instance, someone who is a gardener/landscaper is used to creating patterns of beauty, so a jump to interior design may not be that difficult. They’ve most likely developed an ability to visualize attractive patterns that are pleasing to the eye outdoors, and that ability may more easily be transferred to interior decorating. If someone learns one of the romance languages like Spanish, Italian or French, it’s been said that it’s fairly easy to learn the other ones since the roots of those languages are the same. But to add a language with no root similarities such as going from Spanish to Japanese requires us to form completely new neural pathways. It’s when we get to the point where these new pathways in our brains must be formed that we tend to want to give up.
I have always sensed energy. For as long as I can remember when I look at a person, even though I may notice their appearance or what they are wearing, what I walk away with is what their energy felt like to me. I’ve met people for the first time who were dressed to the nines, perfect features, impeccable make-up and hair with everything anyone could want to appear professional, classy, and sophisticated. But their energy felt cold and shallow. On the other hand, I’ve stopped to give a beggar some money and saw in their eyes what felt like the windows of heaven. In other words, the world of energy and metaphysics is and always has seemed fairly natural to me.
However, doing the work in the structured environment of a classroom I’m now at the point where I’m being asked to form new neural pathways in my brain. And to be perfectly honest, the last few months I’ve been moving slowly forward kicking and screaming. I used to rattle off ideas to others about the chakras, about interacting with the spirit world, about auras and vibrational resonance without batting an eye. I’d always had a natural affinity for it and when I’d have a new experience I would research and study on my own what it meant. Back in the 70’s I became intrigued with the lines of the hands. That led me to learning palmistry and I bought every book I could find on the subject. But until now I’ve never had a teacher.
Learning to do this work from a place of integrity, without the frequent nonsense that comes from the mind/ego has been the biggest learning curve of my life. The ego is just our filing system and survival buddy to help us navigate the material world. If we don’t learn to get in touch with the higher part of ourselves, that unseen part that is eternal, what may come out of our mouth will be based solely on making ourselves look good for the gratification of our own ego. So whether we are seeking the advice of a psychic to help us make an important decision, or whether we are the one giving a reading to someone who has put their faith in us, the ego must be shelved for the period of time when we are seeking answers from that higher place. However, it’s difficult to get those answers when we are wearing full blown heavy weight emotional armor.
The armor that we create to protect ourselves (usually from ourselves) often keeps us from getting to the root of what is holding us back from fulfilling our dreams. When we experience trauma of any kind, we begin to erect an invisible shield to protect ourselves from that ever happening again. The more traumas we encounter, the stronger our shield becomes. In reality, however, what we are actually doing is cutting ourselves off from the emotions that are necessary for dealing with the heavy ball and chain of trauma. In order to tear down that wall we’ve built, we first must go in and explore each issue that caused us pain and release it. That’s where the fun begins. NOT!
The first few months of the Clairvoyant Intuitive class I’m taking was easy. Having had many, what some would call, mystical experiences made it seem like returning to first grade after graduating elementary school. Then we got into some new information that I’d never considered before, like the possibility of parallel lives. But the information was similar to my already formed belief in alternate universes coexisting with out own, so it was easy for me to process it through familiar neural pathways. However, the learning curve came when I was asked to apply this gift in a practical way; by doing actual readings on strangers.
Up until this point information had come to me randomly. A thought would pop into my mind about someone and I would have a sense they were sick or going through tough times and then I would find out I was right. Or the last few years I’ve felt natural disasters prior to their happening, and the more intense the disaster, the worse I felt prior. There have been times when spirits have needed messages relayed to loved ones and there was a sense of urgency, so I would leave my comfort zone and relay the message. But normally I never offer this information unsolicited.
Learning to hone that process so I can replicate it on demand when someone wants a reading, is like taking my third and fourth year foreign language class. I have no neural pathways formed already to help me handle the release of 58 years of emotional baggage. And in order to be a good reader your own aura field needs to be clear. Over the years I have built my armor wall brick by brick thinking that I was keeping the bad stuff out. Now, as I realiize that all I’ve done is put up emotional barriers to keep people out, taking off that armor is scary and sometimes feels like I might die. But as each layer falls my heart opens a little more allowing for a deeper and more beautiful connection to others. And it’s that connection that allows us to intuit the patterns in another’s life that may be holding them back as well. It’s where good clairvoyants and psychics serve an invaluable service. They see into and beyond the walls that we erect for what we believe is self preservation. And if they are really good, they help us dismantle those walls so we can find our own true inner voice and hear the answers we need ourselves.
I’ve known since my late teens that this was my path, but up until now I’ve never wanted to do the work to really learn it, probably because it required facing my own personal demons. I’ve felt like my natural gift should be sufficient. I finally asked myself, would I want a doctor operating on me that believed he didn’t need to study from others because he had a natural gift for medicine? Of course not, and just like mainstream professionals – not all psychics are equal. Some use their natural gift without learning first to quiet the ego or by doing the inner work which allows them to see reality rather than get caught in the illusion.
I’m on this path for the long haul and I know it won’t be easy. But nothing worthwhile ever is.