Atheists offer to take Charge of Raptured Christians' Pets after May 21 Judgment Day

Pet

PetA company formed by atheists called the Eternal Earth-Bound Pets USA has offered to take charge of the pets of Christians after they have been Raptured to heaven on May 21 Judgment Day. As far as Christian theology is concerned pets of Christians will not be Raptured on Judgment Day,thus, some Christians who love their pets may be worrying over the fate of their pets after Rapture.

Earth-Bound Pets USA, which is reported to already have 259 clients, issued the comforting statement to pet loving Christians: "You have committed you life to Jesus. You know you are saved. But when Rapture comes what's to become of your loving pets who are left behind?" The atheist company has offered to "take the burden" off the mind of heaven-bound Christians who might be worried about the fate of their pets after Rapture.

The atheists, of course, have no doubts that they will still be around after the Christians have been Raptured, and have, therefore, undertaken, for a non-refundable advance fee of $135, and $20 for each additional pet at the same address, to mobilize their left-behind atheist rescuers to pick pets from the homes of their clients for eternal safekeeping and care, but this is only on the condition that the Rapture happens.

 

JohnThomas Didymus

Transmodernist writer and thinker. Author of "Confessions of God: The Gospel According to St. JohnThomas Didymus"

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  • http://www.dannyhaszard.com Danny Haszard

    Watchtower Jehovah’s Witnesses have little credibility with their own fairy tale primary doctrine of Jesus ‘invisible’ second coming October 1914
    Watchtower society false prophets declare end of world in 1874, 1878, 1881, 1910, 1914, 1918, 1925, 1975, and 1984….

    —–
    Danny Haszard been there!

  • Pastah Fagiolli

    I'm prepared to offer all hot Asian wi'men a place to live after the Rupture.

  • http://www.revelation-truth.org Rev. Daniel W. Blair

    I am very sad for those who have been following this lie that the rapture will occur on May 21st. Even if they attempt to explain away “No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven nor the Son, but only the Father” (Mark 13:32), they cannot explain away that most every Christian, theologian, scholar, and prophet from the first Century until the Nineteenth Century all believed that the church would go through the Great Tribulation and not escape through some secret rapture that would leave the world paralyzed. I pray that they will take a moment and read my book, “Final Warning” because the hour of is His judgment has come. http://www.revelation-truth.org

    • kivahut

      Daniel,
      Please stop cutting and pasting your advertisement here. We get it. You wrote a book. Congratulations.

  • http://www.houseofbetazed.com Mriana

    Hey, I'd take care of them for free- small dogs and cats only please. Chihuahuas, Yorkies, and other tiny doggies that most people think of as rats, are just more kitty-sized people to me and are OK.

    Seriously though, the idea that people will fly up into the air, without something as a plane or balloon is just plain silly. They'd die of hypothermia first and if that didn't get them, then oxygen deprivation. By the time they hit space, they'd be deader than a door nail. Given it is so cold in space, it would take cryogenics to a new level, if the space debris didn't demolish the body. These people really need to check their science before saying half the things they do.

    • http://johnthomasdidymus.blogspot.com johnthomas didymus

      you are under-rating the sophistication of divine-heavenly-godly-technology to take care of the technical problems in Rapture Spaceflight–lol!

  • kivahut

    I humbly offer my services for spending the raptured xtians money, and eating the food left in their pantries.
    Selflessness is just a part of who I am.

  • Timber

    I wish they'd just hurry up and go. More room for the rest of us heathens — and might get rid of a lot of the fundie crazies out there. I'll happily go to hell if I get to be there when most of them are told they aren't going where they think they're going.