Home / Views & Opinion / EHarmony: Where "Godly" people LOVE Jesus

EHarmony: Where "Godly" people LOVE Jesus

I tried the secular dating sites–Zoosk, SeniorMeet (believe it or not there are a lot of young people on that one), and no success over three months in finding a man who is willing to commit.  I got a lot who simply wanted booty.  They didn't want a smart, intelligent woman. They wanted an attractive, empty headed sexpot.   Now, the reason I am doing this is not because I want a man–on the contrary, I want to see what dating is like out there for real women–both secular and religious.

One of my friends suggested it might be because I hadn't "put the Lord into my relationship seeking," (HUH?)  so I signed up at EHarmony to find out what Jesus' will for a mate might be for me.   I put in my profile what every red blooded American conservative Republican Christian male would want to hear:

  • A woman who loves the Lord and put Him first in her life
  • A woman who knows her Christian place in a relationship (submit to the man as the church should to Christ)
  • A woman who has nothing better to do with her time and education than read the Bible and pray like crazy.

Interestingly enough, the men have clustered around my profile like bees to honey. I've been getting 6-10 matches a day with men all over the US (mostly the South–surprise surprise–and the American West–again, surprise, surprise), who are dying to contact me as if I were the last Christian woman on earth.   The best REAL profile ever that I read?  You'll love it:

I desire to have someone to share my life with that is genuine, god loving and understands what her responsibilities in a marriage are and is not afraid of working at a marital relationship. There is so much of the world that I have seen but there is still alot left to explore and enjoy. I would rather not do it alone. I desire a christian women who could have made it out west in a covered wagon (Prairie Schooner). A strong and determined women like my grandmothers' and mother were and like my 3 sisters are. A christian women with the beauty and charm of Donna Reed and the ornryness and tenacity of of Granny Clampett.

THIS is what men want?  Really?  Not one wants an educated, attractive woman.  Not one profile wanted that.  They all wanted a "physically fit" [all of them so far have listed this first] Christian woman who prays and loves Jesus and knows her "duty" as a Christian woman in a relationship. On EHarmony, nearly every man's profile reads this same way (minus the crap about wanting a woman who could have made it out west in a covered wagon).  If this is what is out there for my Christian sisters, I want to assure you, you have my deepest sympathies.

They really love Jesus on EHarmony.   Stick with me the next few weeks to see the religious zealots find a mate.  Next week I'll be my secular self on eHarmony and see if anything changes.  Should be a trip!

About Dakota O'Leary

Dakota O'Leary is a freethinker, and often sassy, scholar of theology and literature. She got her Bachelor of Arts degree in English and Theology from the State University of New York College at Buffalo, and her Master of Arts degree in Theology and Literature from Antioch University-Midwest. She is a contributing writer focusing on eschatology, biblical prophecy, and general religious news. Dakota is a co-host of the God Discussion radio show, offering insight to the news stories of the week. We like to call her "our in-house Biblical prophecy expert" as her articles on eschatology have received over 200,000 views on God Discussion.
  • You should put in there that people are always commenting that you are just like a young Phyllis Schlafly and see what happens. LOL!

  • Diane

    They want a physically fit woman 'cause they don't want to have to pay for health insurance!

  • That is SO depressing. If I was looking for someone interested in a woman with brains I would just head out to an atheist convention!

    • Mriana

      Now there's where you find some REAL men! I enjoy meeting men at atheist/skeptic conventions. I get real intellectually stimulating conversations too.

  • Mriana

    I find it sad that most men seem to go for looks over brains. Just once I would like to meet a man who prefers brains. I find it more of a turn on for a man to talk to my mind than to my body. Intellectual conversation is more stimulating than the desire for out right sex, IMO, but it seems many men see a woman they consider attractive and their brains go south. I really cannot stand that.

  • Sarah

    Don't knock eHarmony! Be yourself and you'll be surprised by the quality and compatability of the majority of your matches. I met my life partner there several years ago and have nothing but wonderful things to say about the service. My mate and I are very, very happy together. And I am a well-educated, intelligent, professional woman. Best wishes…you may just find the love of your life!

  • To be fair you did put in the kind of profile that would attract the kind of folks you just mentioned. Try a different profile and be yourself, see what happens next.

Scroll To Top