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The Bible Slam: Leviticus Chapter 19

Rounding the corners of your head, marring the corners of your beard, mixing and matching fabrics, and getting tattoos are wickedy, wickedy, WICKEDY, according to THE LORD THY GOD.

The numerous instructions in this chapter are basically a rehashed mix of commands that were already given.   There are a smattering of a couple of the Ten Commandments, some fairly ethical commandments already stated in Exodus 22, some bizarre rules, and a few regulations about offerings.

Of course, psychics, mediums and astrologers are all bad.   Stay away from them!

The Golden Rule — Love thy neighbor as thyself — is given in this chapter.

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Discussion Points.

Read the King James version of Leviticus 19 at Skeptics Annotated, which points out the good, evil and silly rules.   Out of 37 verses, "I am the LORD" (in many cases, I am the LORD your God) was used 15 times.   Here's a rundown of the rules, sorted by category:


  • Be holy.
  • Keep the sabbath.
  • Don't make idols or molten gods.
  • Don't swear the name of God falsely or profane God's name.
  • Sacrifice peace offerings at your own will — but don't eat any of the mean on the 3rd day or else your soul will be condemned.
  • Keep the sabbaths and revere the sanctuary.

Wicked Stuff.

  • Enchantments.
  • Astrology (observing times).
  • Familiar spirits and wizards.

Business Advice.

  • Don't defraud your neighbors.
  • Pay fair wages to your employees at the end of each day.
  • Use accurate weights and measures.

Family and Community.

  • Fear (i.e., honor) your parents.
  • Leave some of your crops for the poor and strangers.
  • Don't steal, rip people off, or lie.
  • Don't curse the deaf.
  • Don't put stumbling blocks in front of blind people.
  • Don't judge people unfairly, or give special favoritism to people just because they're poor or in positions of power.
  • Don't gossip.
  • Don't harbor grudges or hate.
  • Love your neighbor as yourself (19:18).
  • Don't prostitute your daughter or sell her off to be a whore (this results in the entire land turning into a whoredom).
  • Respect the elderly.
  • Be kind to strangers and love them as yourself (19:34).


  • If a man has sex with an engaged slave, "scourge" the woman but don't punish the man … provided a ram is given to the priests for atonement sacrifice.

Science and Agriculture.

  • Don't interbreed your livestock.
  • Don't mix seeds when sowing.
  • In your orchards, your fruit is "uncircumcised" in the 1st three years, God's property in the 4th year, and can be eaten in the 5th year.


  • Don't eat blood.

God's Holy Dress Code.

  • Don't "round the corners of your head."
  • Don't "mar the corners" of your beard.
  • Don't cut your flesh (body piercings — pierced ears?).
  • Don't get tattoos.
  • Don't mix wool and linen.

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  • Thanks for the article. Here it does read very funny too.

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