It is that time of the year (again) particularly in 2012, when we review all of the signs and wonders that signal that the world will end in a flaming heap with Jesus Christ doing a little holy ethnic cleansing of all the people some Christians love to hate. So here is the year in review of all the signs that we've probably been ignoring, so you can shore up your bomb shelter/bunker.
10. Nestle Corporation feels the need to put RFID chips inside their KitKat bars.
The Mark of the Beast is arriving to our friends in England! According to our favorite pastor Paul Begley, (and the Daily Mail UK) Nestle is putting RFID chips inside the wrappers of Kit Kat bars for their We Will Find You Campaign. Their ad tells you how it works. It's kind of creepy.
And here's Pastor Paul's take on it. I have to agree. It sounds very "Revelation-y" to me. First they bribe you with 10,000 pounds to get you to accept the tracking device, they pay you, then one day they put it in you or on you with severe penalties should you decide not to wear it/accept it.
So there you go. No more Nestle for me, thank you very much.
9. Obama is the antichrist.
Well, he's a different color, so he must be the Antichrist. Believe it or not, there are countless sites that proclaim this, and I hear this one on the street every day from people (particularly older people–who evidently are not as race tolerant as they would have you believe in the holy Midwest). Here are some real gems "proving" that the President is the Antichrist (which is obviously why God let him win–to usher in the End Times). This video offers 100% proof (practically a guarantee, folks!) that Obama is definitely the Antichrist using "biblical" mathematics called "gematria." (I personally found the person doing mathematical backflips to make algorithms come out the way he/she needed them to in order to support their claim, but that's just me. I might be bad in math). If you can get through this video with its kitschy Spanish theme and plain text, no pictures without falling asleep, kudos to you (here I was hoping for some really good slams at the President, GOP evangelical style. So disappointed).
8. Freaky weather (as noted in 2011 when the world was supposed to end May 21st. I see we're all still here).
Even NASA is pitching in on this one, and has been since the end of 2011. Apparently so many millions of people believe that the world will end on December 21st, NASA feels the need to keep reassuring people this is not the case. In a recent article on GodDiscussion, by our own D. Beeksma, NASA said the following:
NASA senior scientist David Morrison told Cenk Uygur, host of Current TV's The Young Turks, that a poll suggests that about 25 million Americans do not expect to see Christmas this year because they believe that the world will end on December 21, 2012.
Morrison also shared a synopsis of some of the emails he's received (see video embedded below).
Of particular concern to the scientist is that a lot of young people believe that the world will end on December 21. "I hear from kidswho say they can't eat, they can't sleep, they're considering suicide in some cases," he told Uygur. "So whatever the other effects might be on crazies, it truly frightens children, which I think is wrong."
Yes it is. Very wrong. Every year we go through this, every year it gets debunked when it doesn't happen, but that doesn't stop the people from making excuses and waiting patiently the next year to see if the world will end so Christ will return. I always find it interesting that Christians choose pagan solstices to fix their end of world predictions on. Of course, the pagans aren't the ones saying the world will end, either. Here's a peek at all the 2012 doomsday sites based on weather patterns you can go to if you need any (more) confirmation that the world will end. NASA is also rejecting the theory that the Earth will collide with Nibaru (planet or brown dwarf? Nobody seems to know this bit. But everybody knows the world will come to an end. Funny, that).
7. Polar shift.
We covered this one in 2011 but doomsdayers don't want to let this one go. Mayan Predictions says a polar shift would supposedly screw around with animal navigation and people, and cause CHAOS *screams*
According to some scholars, the Earth is expected to go through a polar shift sometime during the end of 2012. This phenomenon involves the Earth’s North and South Pole interchanging rapidly. As a result, malfunction and confusion would occur. Animals are expected to lose direction and electronics are expected to breakdown. In addition, scientists are also expected major movement of tectonic plates which would result in many natural disasters.
It would be nice if they cited the scholars they are referencing. One can almost read the glee in their post when birds started dying in Arkansas and washing up on shore in various places on the Earth because it seemed to prove what they are saying about pole shift. This video uses an Inuit to explain why he thinks polar shift is occurring (because Native Americans/First Nations people know about this stuff). Funny how some think Native Americans/First Nations' people are so wise when we need them to suit our purposes while the rest of the time we treat them like crap.
Anyway. Here's another entertaining video done in 2008 from a survivalist who is gave everybody else tips on how to survive the polar shift and eventual collision with Nibaru in 2012. I"m betting you the guy is from the American West (Nebraska, Wyoming, Montana, Idaho, etc because that's where all these bat-shit crazy gun toting survivalists live):
This guy says you're supposed to abandon places close to tectonic plates during this time of chaos. Since the Earth's surface is composed of tectonic plates, where in the hell are you supposed to go?
What does NASA say? Polar shift happens all of the (geologic) time.
Scientists understand that Earth's magnetic field has flipped its polarity many times over the millennia. In other words, if you were alive about 800,000 years ago, and facing what we call north with a magnetic compass in your hand, the needle would point to 'south.' This is because a magnetic compass is calibrated based on Earth's poles. The N-S markings of a compass would be 180 degrees wrong if the polarity of today's magnetic field were reversed. Many doomsday theorists have tried to take this natural geological occurrence and suggest it could lead to Earth's destruction. But would there be any dramatic effects? The answer, from the geologic and fossil records we have from hundreds of past magnetic polarity reversals, seems to be 'no.'
Reversals are the rule, not the exception. Earth has settled in the last 20 million years into a pattern of a pole reversal about every 200,000 to 300,000 years, although it has been more than twice that long since the last reversal. A reversal happens over hundreds or thousands of years, and it is not exactly a clean back flip. Magnetic fields morph and push and pull at one another, with multiple poles emerging at odd latitudes throughout the process. Scientists estimate reversals have happened at least hundreds of times over the past three billion years. And while reversals have happened more frequently in "recent" years, when dinosaurs walked Earth a reversal was more likely to happen only about every one million years.
Sediment cores taken from deep ocean floors can tell scientists about magnetic polarity shifts, providing a direct link between magnetic field activity and the fossil record.
6. Heat, tornadoes and droughts, oh my!
Again with the weather. Heat in the US, cold snaps in Europe. It's a good thing the owner of this Buzzfeed site wasn't alive during the winter of 1880-1881, one of the nation's worst ever blizzards. I bet they thought the world was ending then, too. This one not only hit Dakota Territory in the US, but the southern part of the United Kingdom, killing lots and lots of people. In 1888-89 the Children's Blizzard hit the US plains states, killing mostly children as they attempted to make it home from school before the blizzard hit.
In other words, weather happens. It's been worse before.
5. If China believes the world will end in 2012, by golly, the world will end!
The Telegraph UK reports today that in the nation of China, it's been a very good day for candle sales. People in China are taking the end of the world fears in 2012 so literally, that stores are running out of candles.
The source of the panic was traced to a post on Sina Weibo, China'sversion of Twitter, predicting that there will be three days of darkness when the apocalypse arrives.
Only three? Here I thought the sun would explode or something. Damn.
4, 3, 2, 1: The Bible says so (maybe)
Bible mathematicians are twisting themselves backwards and forward to make this one work. I mean, how perfect! The Mayans said the world will end, and they are Native people so they MUST know! We've got to make the Bible math work on this one!! According to a Mayan, the Mayans are a little pissed about this:
Carlos Barrios was born into a Spanish family on El Altiplano, the highlands of Guatemala. His home was in Huehuetenango, also the dwelling place of the Maya Mam tribe. With other Maya and other indigenous tradition keepers, the Mam carry part of the old ways on Turtle Island (North America). They are keepers of time, authorities on remarkable calendars that are ancient, elegant and relevant.
Mr. Barrios is a historian, an anthropologist and investigator. After studying with traditional elders for 25 years since the age of 19, he has also become a MayanAjq'ij, a ceremonial priest and spiritual guide, Eagle Clan.
Years ago, along with his brother, Gerardo, Carlos initiated an investigation into the different Mayan calendars. He studied with many teachers. He says his brother Gerardo interviewed nearly 600 traditional Mayan elders to widen their scope of knowledge.
"Anthropologists visit the temple sites," Mr. Barrios says, "and read the stelas and inscriptions and make up stories about the Maya, but they do not read the signs correctly. It’s just their imagination…Other people write about prophecy in the name of the Maya. They say that the world will end in December 2012. The Mayan elders are angry with this. The world will not end. It will be transformed. The indigenous have the calendars, and know how to accurately interpret it, not others."
Or, it could be as simple as this: